Thursday Thoughts

Self-image can be a controlling drug.  There was I time in my life when I believed the larger I was the more invisible I became.  The fact was, that was partly true.  In the intro to the old ‘Rhoda’ show she said food was the first thing she ever liked that liked her back.  Been there.

The thought that just occurred to me is that food got me into this shape I’m in and food is going to get me out of it.  Isn’t that wild?  Unlike other addicts, food addicts have to eat.  For some of us if you tell us we can’t have something it only makes us want it more.  Whole30 doesn’t focus on the can’ts, it focuses on the cans.  I can but I choose not to.

Here’s where the cheesy “Whole30 changed my life” comes into play.  It is the first eating plan I’ve ever been on that targets the emotions, in particular the emotional relationship with food.

Whole30 is comfortable.  It ‘fits’ so well.  Sure, it’s high maintenance – plan, shop, prep, cook, repeat – but the rewards, aka Non-Scale Victories are amazing.  We haven’t yet experienced the ‘magic’ some Whole30ers have but the overall sense is one of satisfaction.  I’ve learned to question whether it’s true hunger or craving, am I eating from hunger or from habit?

And now that I can see and feel changes, it’s getting exciting again.

My main concern is my weight.  It’s the most obvious.  You can’t see my diabetes.  You can’t see my stents.  Yes, to get off my meds is key, but I still wonder about life in a thinner world.  Do I compare myself to others?  Yes, I confess that I do.  I know what it’s like to be the largest person in the room.  I am guilty of looking at a clothes rack and pretending I am wearing something similar, wondering what it’s like to be that size.

But.

Recently I wasn’t the largest person in the room.  I wondered, did that person look at me and wonder what it was like to be that size?  I wondered if the size I am so eager to leave is the same size that person is eager to be.  It set me back on my heels.  Perspective is everything.

I made carnitas again.  You can find the recipe on the March 19th blog.  I didn’t do anything majorly different.  At the end, when I was reducing the liquid I added the pork back to the instant pot and let it cook down.  Since the carnitas wouldn’t be eaten right away, I turned off the pot and put the lid back on.  They sat for several minutes before lunch.

It will be time to make a new batch of mayonnaise soon.  We’re going to tweak the original recipe.  I’ll be sure to share that with you when we whip it up.  One important lesson I learned from the original recipe – when it says to use LIGHT olive oil, USE light olive oil.

Sister tries to keep enough new dishes in rotation that we don’t burn out on any particular thing.  I’ve watched videos where the plan was to cook only three meals and rotate them every week for the entire Whole30.  I can kind of understand that because I eat nearly the same thing for breakfast every day but for three meals a day that is taking things to the extreme.

I recently saw some videos on making chia seed pudding and overnight oats.  I want to try them both.  The pudding is compliant and the oats will be once we add back nongluten grains.  Stay tuned for recipes.

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